According to Wikipedia, “the term deadbeat primarily used in the US and Canada, the gender-specific deadbeat dad and deadbeat mom are commonly used by the child support agency to refer to men and women who have fathered or mothered a child and willingly fail to pay child support ordered by a family law court or statutory agency such as the Child Support Agency.”

According to the US Census Bureau, “47.3% of custodial mothers (as “obliges”) received all child support that they were owed and 77.5% received some. Additionally, 46.2% of custodial fathers (as “obliges”) received all child support that they were owed and 74.5% received some.

Child support assessments are made based on a variety of formulae, and vary from state to state in the United States. According to one study 38% of Illinois “obligor” parents not paying child-support said they lacked the money to pay. 23% used non-payment to protest a lack of visitation rights. 69% complained of no accountability over the spending of their child support money, while 13% said they did not want their child or children and 12% denied parentage.”

According to a California study, “76% of the $14.4 billion in child support arrears in California has been attributed to “obligors” who lack the ability to pay.  In California, the “deadbeat” parents had a median annual income of $6349, arrears of $9447, ongoing support of $300 per month. One reason given for this was that 71% of the orders were set by default.  Alternative terms for deadbeat parents who lack the ability to pay are “dead broke” and “turnip” (as in “You can’t get blood out of a turnip”)”.

So what’s a spreadsheet?

Again, according to Wikipedia, for starters, “A spreadsheet is a computer application that simulates a paper accounting worksheet. It displays multiple cells usually in a two-dimensional matrix or grid consisting of rows and columns. Each cell contains alphanumeric tXt, numeric values or formulas. A formula defines how the content of that cell is to be calculated from the contents of any other cell (or combination of cells) each time any cell is updated. Spreadsheets are frequently used for financial information because of their ability to re-calculate the entire sheet automatically after a change to a single cell is made.

What we’ve done here at the Deadbeatspreadsheet.com is to attempt to bring order to chaos.    Deadbeats tend to wear us down over time.  The effort it takes just to keep up with their constant failures to perform as promised is Xhausting at minimum, nervous breakdown fuel in the Xtreme.   We can’t snap our fingers here or click on the compile button and make people change.  We have no control over these circumstances, but we can maybe show you some reasons and tools to help you be more patient and in control in your own head.  You will feel better if you feel like you are doing something that one day might pay off for you and your children, and I mean beyond piece of mind. 

If you ever get an opportunity to answer the question when asked, “How much money do you think the deadbeat owes you?”  Don’t guess!  Know!  Because baby, things change sometimes.  There is a god!  You’ve heard people say that and all that stuff about what goes around comes around and the Laws of Karma. 

I have always loved spreadsheets. (Really?)  And hated them.  I loved them when they made me look good, but hated them when they made me look bad.  In my Xperience they’ve mostly been there to be a kind of report card used by my management to show them, pretty much at a glance, just what I’d been up to, performance-wise the last few days, the last few months, or even the last few years, all right there ready anytime for viewing with just a couple of mouse-clicks.  Spreadsheets are great at comparing things too.  They could compare me to anybody in the world who happened to appear on their great big comparative grid in the sky, I mean software.   After a few years the spreadsheet you live on, in a way, becomes a very real picture of your particular reality.  It removes all the humanity of a person’s actions and reduces you to a few numbers on a page.  Let me tell you something, numbers are a lot easier to work with than people.  When you work with a person’s numbers you remove a whole bunch of psychology and other stuff.  Once you remove someone’s personality, background, education and Xperience, and reduce them to a line of numbers and columns on a page or two of computerized informational output, as a manager, you never have to be personal again.  You can promote and terminate with decisions based solely on the numbers.  Maybe you’ve heard it said, “It’s all just a numbers game”.  That’s the mindset you have to adopt here too at the Deadbeat Spreadsheet.   It’s OK.  I’m going to hold your hand.

How we do it here and why

Besides understanding the mindset and predicament of a Deadbeat myself, after all, I used to be one.  I also bring to the table knowledge and Xperience in the worlds of account auditing and software tools most widely used there.  Everyone has heard of Microsoft.  I am using MS Word to write this introduction.  They have a bunch of other products to be sure, but the one most of us are most familiar with, as far as spreadsheets and accounting are concerned, is Microsoft Xcel. 

According to Wikipedia, “Microsoft Excel (full name Microsoft Office Excel) is a spreadsheet application written and distributed by Microsoft for Microsoft Windows and Mac OS. It features calculation, graphing tools, pivot tables and a macro programming language called VBA (Visual Basic for Applications). It is overwhelmingly the dominant spreadsheet application available for these platforms and has been so since version 5 in 1993, and it’s bundled as part of Microsoft Office. Xcel is one of the most popular microcomputer applications to date.”

It would have been real easy to write what programmers’ call a macro that would work inside of Xcel.  A macro of course is a set of instructions written in programming language that is intended to run within an Xisting computer program like Xcel.  But for our purposes, that would mean that everybody who would want to used this specialized macro created especially to produce a customized deadbeat spreadsheet would also need to at least to own a copy of Xcel. 

Using a macro like that would be what programmers call a “client side” application.  Meaning that all the calculations that need to be invoked in order to compile the necessary algorithms’ to get the desired output would have to be run on the users own personal computer.  There wouldn’t be anything wrong with this approach, but the truth is not everybody knows how to look at a spreadsheet to see what they need to see.   So in the end it would be harder for some and just plain not even available for others. You have enough to worry about.

The answer and hurdle to these obstacles is what programmers call a “server-side” application.   It doesn’t rely upon another computer program like Xcel to be used.   It has all the stuff it needs and none of the stuff it doesn’t need already built in to it.   The user, hopefully you, simply fills in the data and clicks on the “compile” button with their mouse or touchpad.  All the power of the remote computer takes control and outputs to your screen your own personalized Deadbeat Spreadsheet.   At that point you may want to and I hope you will, reproduce your spreadsheet to a PDF document and save it on your own pc for possible use in the future.  After that you can print it or email to whomever you might whenever you decide, all at no charge. 

Why are we doing all this?

I suppose the easiest way, if not the shortest way to answer that question is to relate to you parts of my own personal Xperiences or other peoples whom I’ve know.  Yes, as I stated above, I was once considered a Deadbeat.   One of the reasons so many people get divorced in the first place is because that can’t seem to do what another person wants them to do all the time Xactly at the time that they want them to do it.   Even in the best of times, finances can be a problem, and I mean for everybody.  But after you get divorced and have a set of instructions, like your divorce decree, all neat, legal and proper, signed by a Judge, then, at that time, all these things can quickly run into dimensions of Xistence neither you or your X could have ever dreamed of.   Just ask your lawyer.  I have covered a lot of this ground before and now I just want to share it with anybody who might be interested.  I think a lot of people might be.  It was all very illuminating to me personally at the time.  It seems almost comical now.  I was so naive. 

Change is constant.  Yes, a few years may go by and you both are doing so fine.  But then, things change.  One of you looses your job, has reduced income, there’s a bad economy, has to move out of state, take care of aging parents, medical problems, huge Xpenses like college educations, psychologists, juvenile delinquency, lawyers fees, a million different things, and all of sudden the checks don’t come anymore like they did, and that guy who used to be so smart and paid so promptly has all of a sudden become a Deadbeat.   After a while that divorce decree gets set aside maybe.  People remarry, become alcoholics, drug addicts, bank presidents, politicians, and wander the earth lost for decades, whatever.  People do whatever they do, but it doesn’t change a single word in that divorce decree, not a single syllable unless a judge signs off on it. (Just ask a lawyer.  You should not believe a word I say.  I am an idiot.)   Just because he stopped paying or decided to just pay for the kids Xpenses directly himself, that doesn’t affect that document or his obligation.   He has been ordered by the court to pay and even how to pay.  Taking the kids to the mall to buy them new clothes for school just doesn’t count for credit on the dollar amount he was ordered to pay you, no matter what either of you agree to outside of that divorce decree or how Xpensive the clothes are.   You need to know all this.  . (Just ask a lawyer.  You should not believe a word I say.  I am an idiot.)

When the time comes

And all this time you are suffering, your children are suffering financially as well.   It’s true; maybe you can’t get blood form a turnip.  You may never get a dime; this deadbeat dude of yours may go to five AA meetings a week and never get it together.   But if he ever does, get it together, and if his fortunes change, you need to be there with a plan.  If you don’t have a plan you will suffer. 

 When time comes, the fortunes do change, and they do, say he inherits a bunch of money from a deceased parent or an Aunt or anyway you can think of, whatever, make sure you are in a position to hear about it first.   A good way to do that is to Google everybody you know who is related to him and wait for the obituary to show up in your email.   When you confront him about the long past due child support don’t Xpect him to hand you a blank check.   You need to be there with the scoop about Xactly how much he needs to pay you and how you Xpect that to proceed.  You’ll need some things, like a lawyer I’d Xpect.  The lawyer will ask you; maybe school you about the amount you might Xpect.  That’s a good time to bring out the old Deadbeat Spreadsheet and share it with your attorney.   Your attorney will be impressed.